The logical conclusion of atheism is the belief that there
was once Absolutely Nothing.
For a very, very long time, Absolutely Nothing did absolutely
nothing. But one day, without warning, Absolutely Nothing created Everything, for no apparent reason. It did this in a magical explosion which came from Absolutely
Nothing. For a very long time after this, the Everything that came
from Absolutely Nothing was completely dead. The Dead Everything just drifted around, randomly clumping together, eventually forming stars and
planets, solar systems and galaxies, powerful black holes and beautiful gas
nebulae. Absolutely Nothing taught it how to do this. On Earth, the Dead
Everything formed itself into oceans and islands, stunningly beautiful
mountain ranges, magnificent waterfalls, deep valleys, monumental glaciers and
warm tropical beaches. Absolutely Nothing taught the Dead Everything that used to be nothing how to do this.
But there was no life. Dead Everything was completely
dead. Not a single living cell. Not a blade of grass. Not the smallest microbe in
the ocean. Just dead, inanimate matter. But then another magical thing
happened. One day, without warning, for no reason whatsoever, Dead Everything magically created living cells. We have no idea how Dead Everything did this, because we still can’t do this today, despite all our technology and
the accumulated wisdom of our greatest scientific minds. The Dead Everything must have been extremely clever, probably because it was taught by Absolutely
Nothing. We also don’t know why Dead Everything isn’t still creating
living cells from dead matter today. Perhaps Absolutely Nothing originally
told Dead Everything how to do it, but now Dead Everything has
Anyway, the magical living cells, created by Dead
Everything had no intelligence of their own, yet they eventually formed
themselves into grass and trees, fish and birds, insects and reptiles, and
mammals of all shapes and sizes. Absolutely Nothing told the magical
living cells how to do this. Absolutely Nothing did this by creating a
highly complex biological coding, called DNA, that it placed inside every
living cell. This is a coded set of instructions more complex than the most
sophisticated computers mankind has ever built. Absolutely Nothing eventually
gave every living cell a complete set of these instructions, involving
literally billions of lines of specific biological code, telling each cell how
to grow into all the different lifeforms that we see today.
Absolutely Nothing told some living cells how to eventually
grow into Atheists. Atheists believe in Absolutely Nothing. They have
told the rest of us how Absolutely Nothing created Dead Everything in the beginning and how Absolutely Nothing then magically created the
living world that we see around us today. We don’t know how Atheists learned
about all this, since they weren’t there in the beginning when all of this
supposedly happened. Perhaps Absolutely Nothing told them. Atheists have
also told the rest of us that when we die, we go to Absolutely Nothing and turn into Absolutely Nothing ourselves. This is very exciting news!
In the meantime, this understanding of our origins and eventual destiny gives
us meaning and purpose. Since we now know that we came from Absolutely
Nothing and will return to Absolutely Nothing, we can live our whole
lives for Absolutely Nothing. Our ethics and morals are based upon Absolutely
Nothing, and we serve Absolutely Nothing faithfully. Thank goodness
Atheists. And they mock Christian beliefs!
Kevin Simington (B.Th. Dip. Min.) is a theologian, apologist and
social commentator. He spent 31 years in Christian ministry as a
church pastor and a Christian educator. He is the author of Finding God When He Seems to be Hiding; No More Monkey Business: Evolution in Crisis; and Making Sense of the Bible. He has also written a best-selling series of science fiction books.